Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
