you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
