Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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