Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
