her vagine was all disorganized.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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