So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
