he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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