JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
