I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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