i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
