I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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