What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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