Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
