Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
