Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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