You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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