I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
