fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
