did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
