We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
