I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Someone came in the potted fern
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
