The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
