we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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