need another drink. this is the easiest way
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
