The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize