I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
