He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
