Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
