haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I don't deserve a penis
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
