Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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