So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
