I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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