This is not my ceiling
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
