he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
