Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
