I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
