Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
