YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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