Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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