Are we in a gay sports bar?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
