your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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