You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
