How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
