i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize