he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
