so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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