at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
