Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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