I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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