You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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