Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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