Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Enjoy the penises
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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