As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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