wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
