Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
