Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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