Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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