The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
