I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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