my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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