I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
