it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
soo... how was my night?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
