weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
