I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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