Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
should my penis look like a turkey
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
