Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
