it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize