I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You dont lie about slip and slides
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
