guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
