another moral hangover. fuck.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize