This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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