ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I need to calm my uterus...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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