Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
