I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
