dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
