I can't watch pbs sober anymore
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
