I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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