trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
